Be Still

I currently have 4 other unpublished posts that I’ve written over the past few days.  I couldn’t bring myself to post them though… for some reason I felt they all seemed disingenuous.  It felt like some other foreign person was writing about these things that didn’t really matter… or do they?  Who decides?  Is it me?  Because I have no idea what I’m doing for the most part.  I feel like I’m just winging it.  Winging life.  

I feel like a confident person most of the time.  But I’ve never really thought of myself as a super creative person, and even though I love writing and I love addressing issues and I love interior design, I can’t help but feel that I’m putting a piece of myself, a piece that I’ve normally just kept to myself, out there to be scrutinized.  I’m not the kind of person to obsess if you like me or not, or even if you agree with what I say.  But I do find myself worrying about the validity or importance of the words that I say.  I don’t claim to know what I’m doing.  I’m learning as I go.

I guess that’s what makes what I have to say so important… even if you gain nothing from it, maybe I might learn something about myself.  Or, maybe something I write might impact others.  I guess this whole post is a letter to myself – a validation of sorts.

This happens to me every now and then – a slight freak-out followed by an attempt to calm myself down and justify my thoughts and ideas.  My dad tells me the adage “be still” in moments like these.  The power and weight that those two words carry is not lost on me.  So, in an attempt to continue this blog – sharing my ideas and feelings about things – I am taking my daddy’s advice to be still.  I hope that you will continue reading and following me on this journey of mine to spread my thoughts and ideas – even though sometimes I’m just wingin’ it.


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